Welcome to what I anticipate to be one of the funniest Tiffessions of all time.
First, let's define Tiffession, shall we?
Tiffession- (n.) The act of Tiffany confessing things that others may find humorous.
That was the funniest Tiffession of all time!
Synonyms: Tiffmission, Tiffknowledgement, and Tiffclosure.
Now that we have that out of the way, on with the show!
Today, someone asked me an interesting question. They meant it rhetorically, as it was a rhetorical question, and it got me thinking. The question was this: "You don't ever get embarassed, do you?" Of course we all knew my answer..."Are you trippin?! Of COURSE I get embarassed! Probably more than most people!" As I said, it got me thinking, what are my top embarassing moments? Well I thought, and thought some more (a big task for me) and came up with this:
Top 5 Tiffessions List
5. Two years ago, I starred as Truvy in Steel Magnolias. During one of the practices, my line was "I am the epitome of Winter." I pronounced it "ep-i-tome" not "epid-i-me". To this day I still haven't lived it down.
4. Again, a Steel Magnolias story. At one point during the show, Shelby-a character who has diabetes- gets low blood sugar and almost goes into shock. Obvisouly this is a very dramatic scene. As Shelby is about to go into shock Truvy (I) put a mint in her mouth, but she spits it out. We had rehearsed this flawlessly. However, one night during the 2nd night of the show, when shelby spits it out, the mint managed to go down my shirt. Since it is very obvisous, the ENTIRE audience noticed and laughed, and I had to go through the rest of the first act with a mint stuck in my shirt- not very comfortable at all!
3. Another theatre story: I was once in a church play, and form the time we had been measured for costumes and the time of the acutal play I had put on a few pounds, so I decided to wear Spanx. Now the way a mike works we women usually hook the battery pack onto our bra or pants for easier costume changes. Mine fell off as I was about to go onstage, and in the hurry I was in I got my fellow actor to fix it for me. Before I had a chance to tell him I was wearing spanx, he yelled into my live mike "TIFF YOU'RE WEARING SPANX?!" Yes, the entire audience did hear that. Yes, I did get comment afterwards. Yes, I was embarassed.
2. My family and I like to go to Great Wolf Lodge in the Summer, which is an indoor waterpark/hotel aka coolest place in the world. This summer when we went there were some very cute college boys lifeguarding. Now, they had set routes they had to walk on the side of the pool. So, if one were to jump in they would hear anything and everything they said before and after they jumped in. My mom is a rather loud person and enjoys emabarassing me when she knows I'll laugh about it later. This set up was no exception. Mom jumped in the water before me and right before she did she said "Tiff he's really cute!" The lifeguard was literally 3 feet away from me. I didn't hear her and jumped in. When she started laughing I didn't understand why and asked her, she then told me. The lifeguard heard her tell me and laughed even harder. Of course, I turned bright red and didn't talk to my mom for the rest of...5 minutes haha!
1. I was running late for a play that I was in, so being the kind of person I am I decided to just drive to the theatre and do my hair there. Now, this doesn't sound like a big deal to most people however, this entailed me driving to the theatre in full makeup with rollers in my hair. Now stage makeup is different than regular makeup in that it is 2 shades darker than regular makup and most people look...well...scary upclose. So there I was in my car, on the way to the theatre with curlers in my hair when I, of course, hit a stoplight. I was doing some last minute rehearsing when, lo and behold who pulls up beside me but they guy that I had had a crush on for 4 months. I didn't even notice until he beeped his horn. When I turned to look it was him and his 2 very cute friends. Thankfully the light turned green and needless to say I sped off as fast as my little infinity would go!
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