Call them what you will - smoke detectors, fire alarms, beige circles of death - I now hate them thanks to this past week.
The First Battle:
There I was, fast asleep in my comfy warm bed when I hear a chirp, thinking it's my computer which I left on I curl up and back to dreamland I go - nope. Fifteen minutes later I hear the same sound and I realize its not my computer in fact it is the beige circle of death outside my room. Up two flights of stairs I go to get another battery in the process waking up my mom. I get back downstairs, at this point I've failed to mention we all like to sleep with it cold...our house is the Arctic at night and I'm in a night shirt, basically I'm freezing.
I climb on the chair shove the battery into its slot and go back to bed since I had to be up at 7. Almost asleep am I when I hear it, "CHIRP" dang it I put the battery in wrong. Back on the chair I go (which I SWEAR got taller), now our ceilings are high so I have to look UP to the smoke detector, so when I open the battery door the loose battery falls out and smacks me in my face. I then proceed to lose my balance and fall off the chair. As I lay there in pain (luckily I didn't break anything) my only thought is "I'm the only person in the world who can say they've been attacked by a smoke detector".
Smoke Detector: 1 Tiff: 0
The Second Battle:
This battle takes place the next night around 9 - I've had a long day and I decided I deserved to relax, which in Tiffanese means bubble bath. I've just gotten into my extremely hot bath (it was freezing outside so it doubled as a Tiff-defroster too) when I hear it, not a chirp but 5 fire alarms going off at one.
First thought? House is on fire - make sure mom's awake. My little sis was downstairs with me so she was fine, also completely undisturbed by the 5 alarms going off. Up two flight of stairs I bolt in my very plush robe and find mom about to stand on a chair, by this point I realize there isn't a fire and it's just the beige circles of death rising up against us again. Obviously they're organizing. I end up changing 4 batteries without getting smacked in the face again (SCORE!) which is equivalent to every other fire detector in our house. However, when I go back down to my bath, it's cold. They crossed the line this time...
Smoke Detector: 2 Tiff: 0
The Final Battle:
The next day was Saturday, which means I get to sleep in longer since I went to work later - sweet right? Not if you're in a war against "protectors of the house". 6am, not even the sun is awake but you know what is? The fire alarms that's right. Every last one of them is going off - First, my sleep. Then, my bath. Now, my sanity.
I run upstairs with the pure intent of murdering these blasted things when I see mom on a chair...pulling wires out of them. I asked (ok more yelled over the noise) what I should do. She responds "I've got it go back to sleep".
Yeah, I'll do that.
By the time I get back downstairs to my room...silence. Eerie silence. My puppy has gotten in the bed with me since loud noises scare her and she tends to hide. Mom comes downstairs, a proud look on her face. I ask how she got them to stop. She calmly said "I killed them".
Being sleep deprived I muttered ok and went back to sleep. Of course when I woke back up I was like "WHAT did she say?" So I ran upstairs. There - from wires protruding from the wall hangs the detectors. Finally defeated.
They may have won the battles, but we won the WAR!
Final Score:
Circles of Death: 2 Tiff: 0 Sweet Momma T: 5
