Pet Names

It has recently come to the attention of some, if not most, of my friends that I detest “pet names”. I don’t mean Fluffy or Rover, not in the least, I mean when two people are in a relationship and they start to call each other the “lovey-dovey-makes-me-want-to-kick-something” names. While having a conversation with a close friend over why I would make faces every time she called her boyfriend “Babe” or “Baby” I came to the conclusion I must share my motives with my lovely readers. I’m going to go through the most used pet names, and tell you why I don’t like them at all, one by one. I’ll be honest, for the most part I dislike these names I’m specifically mentioning because they are very overused, and while it may be okay for some people, I don ‘t want a cookie-cutter relationship because I’m not a cookie-cutter girl. As a side note, there are in fact some names I do like…they mostly have to do with bakery items. If a nickname has a cute story to go with it, then it's totally understandable and freaking adorable. Example: in Tangled, Flynn Ryder called Rapunzel "Blondie", could just be me and my tendency to like the rogue adventerous types but that's adorable. Some people claim I don't like pet names because I'm bitter due to my singularity. While I’m not single by choice, I'm going to have to be content waiting for God to bring "him" into my life and I'm not settling for less. Also, you must realize some things are better single. I can’t think of any right now, but for the time being let’s assume I’m one of them.

Baby

What do babies do? Look cute, eat, sleep, poop, smile every now and again, and cry. What in the world is attractive about that? Dictionary.com defines “Baby” as thus:

1. An infant or very young child.

2. A newborn or very young animal.

3. An immature or childish person.

4. A human fetus.

Newborn or very young animal…hm why not just call me Puggle? Aka a baby Platypus. I can understand someone being ok with being called “childish” as in child-like. However, any man with half a brain knows better than to call his girlfriend immature.

Justin Beiber also overused this word enough for the entire human population.

So ladies and the 2 guys that read this, next time your significant other calls you “baby” just think “Human Fetus”.

Babe

I dare you to tell your girlfriend, “That’ll do pig, that’ll do.”

Hon

Most overused name ever. I am guilty of using it though, but only for my friends, which s fine. I don’t know what it is but whenever someone calls their significant other hon it just seems forced – like they’re trying to say “Look! I’m in a relationship! We call each other cutesy names to make others around us feel awkward! You’re going to die alone! Blah blah blah”. I hate this name because it’s an abbreviation to a nickname. If you’re going to shorten this you may as well ask “WYMM?” instead of Will You Marry Me?

Honey

Hated only by association with the name “hon” – I consider this a Bakery item, making the full word ok as long as “Hon” is never used. Ever.

Angel

Oh for heaven’s sake! I like being put on a pedestal and all but PLEASE do not think THAT highly of me! I would find it a little creepy if my boyfriend thought I was THAT perfect, I would probably nickname him “Crazy McStalkerson”.

Dove

Yes, I’ve heard this one before – heck, I’ve even been called this before. Doves are almost the same thing as a pigeon, same family just a different species. They both poop on cars, people on the beach, and statues.

Treasure

I will only accept this name if the guy/girl calling you this is either a legit pirate, or is dressed like one. No exceptions. If you have a boyfriend that does that exactly, but you’re sick of him…send him my way :)

That'll work...

Precious

Does he also ask what you have in your pockets?

Disclaimer: I find it fine if married couples call each other these or any other pet names. They've already made a life long commitment to each other. This doesn't apply to engaged couples because while they're more serious than dating, they still haven't actually made that commitment yet.

Why Yes, I am shameless

Hey Y'all!

So, I have entered an online magic competition, and have made it to the top 8!! YAY!!

Here's where you come in: I need votes!! Right now I'm in 3rd, but I'm the only female magician in this and quite honestly I really want to win. How can you help me? Follow these 3 easy steps:

1. Click this link:

http://www.magicgeek.com/blog/?p=1014

2. Watch my Video

3. Leave me a nice comment telling me how much you liked it! The site will ask for your email address, but they don't spam you or sell it to other companies. They just need to make sure you're not a cheap robot. The comments count as votes but the judges check it through name and IP address, so instead of cheating just get everyone else to vote.

Thanks y'all, as always much love!

-Tiff

Why I love my Friends

The other day, I was talking with an acquaintance in class about our friends. I came to realize I had a lot of "friends". However, I also realized that my Best Friends were the ones you read about in Chicken Soup books. Here are 3 of my most recent stories on them (put in a series) - note: all of them are different friends and names have been taken out to preserve their humbleness. Plus, I didn't ask permission to mention them on the blog :).

If it looks like a thug, tries to talk like a thug, it's probably a nerd

Tonight, I had class. It was a night class from 7-9:40, at CVCC in a dark scary parking lot. The majority of people in my class honestly scare me a bit. They've never done anything to me, but their demeanor scares me. Long story short: They're thugs. Straight up, chains etc. thugs.

I am not.

Big surprise I know, so tonight when I went to class I decided to look more thug-ish. So I went to my J.Crew and Old Navy infested closet to look for thug clothes. I came out with: Dark jeans, black shirt, chain-like necklace (don't judge it was last season), and leather jacket. I was thug.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked by a chain link fence, sketchy at best. I then walked in with some of my classmates, I was on time so they weren't sketchy...that sketchy.

When I sat down I texted my dear friend (referred to as Friend #1 from henceforth) Here's the convo:

Me: Can I avert thugs by wearing a leather jacket and chain like jewelry?

Friend #1: Haha no they're still gonna mess with you

Me: Dang homie

Friend #1: Haha why are you trying to avoid thugs?

Me: My night class, I don't get out till like 10

Friend #1: Can you find someone to walk out with?

Me: Only if I sell my kidney... or liver

Then class started so I stopped texting to pay attention. When we reached break, before I checked my phone a thugish guy beside me saw my notes. He said "Hey girl, can I ask you a question?" I being my usual self said "Yeah ok" thinking it'd be inappropriate at best. He then responded, "How'd you get your notes to print out all neat like that? I mean you look like you know computers but is it easy?"

So much for me being thug. I then explain the process via MAC and PC. I'm a nerd.

When I checked my phone, I found this text:

Friend #1: You're parked under a light, you'll be fine.

Moral of the story?

A friend will tell you "you'll be fine" when you tell them you're parked in a sketchy parking lot. Best Friends will stalk out your car to tell you your fine, you're parked under a light.

Avada Kedavra You Sparkly Vampires!!

WARNING: If you are a Twilight Fan read no further, I'm not and I express this vehemently. Thank you.

I hate Twilight. I'm sorry those of you who are reading this that didn't heed my warning, but it's shallow and a TERRIBLE influence for the young girls reading it. Really girls? "I want a guy like Edward..." last I checked he: watched Bella sleep, alienated her from her family and friends, and is always "around" meaning he follows her. Not Ok. Bella on the other hand? "She's so awesome". Moody, dependent completely on Eddy for happiness and when she can't be with him tried to kill herself? Nope, don't think so.

Parents who are reading this, don't fret for there is another book series your children can read and actually (gasp!) learn too!

The Harry Potter Series.

I'm a Harry Potter Fan, if you think it's Unchristian, let me know there's a book you need to read. The entire series is so blatantly Christian it's wonderful - but I digress.

Here is my proof that Harry Potter is better than Twilight. These were found on mylifeistwilight.com and averagewizard.com - one thing I noticed on the Twilight site the "flops" and "Top 100" had a surprising amount of overlap. Hang on to your wands 'cuz here we go!

Exhibit A

Twilight: Today, I realised my hair is bown jus like bellas! :D MLIT

1) What color is bown?

2) You JUST realized your hair color? I don't care if you just learned to read

you know the color of your hair!

Why HP is Better: Today I looked up events on my birthday and found out that the exact day and year I was born was the day Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was published. I always knew I was born on a magical day. MLIM

HP fans know basic facts, like our birthday and hair color for that matter.

Exhibit B

Twilight: Today I dreamt of my own version of Edward. Average height, green eyes, soft lips, and pale cold-skinned. Life would be so much easier if I weren't in love with him, but I can't help it. If i could dream, it would be about him because someday we will be together. MLIT

HP: Last night, I had a dream that I went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I was having such a great time in the dream, and I was just about to enter the castle, when I realized I had to pee very badly, and woke up. Never have I been so disappointed with my bladder. MLW(as)A(lmost)M

Please note the Twihard said "I dreamt" and then said "If I could dream", I'm seeing inconsistencies. However, us cool HP fans CAN dream, DO dream, and dream about REAL things...ok "magical" things but real nonetheless.

Exhibit C

Twilight: On May 1st i went to Columbus Ohio. Me and my mom and aunt and people we met went to a mall. and we see lifesize Edward and jacob cutouts. of course i got and Edward one. Now i am for sure taking Edward to prom. CANT WAIT! MLIT. = ]

HP: I told my boyfriend how I anxious I was for the cast list of my school play to go up. He replied "accio cast list". I threw my arms around him and told him I loved him, to which he replied "works like a charm". M (boyfriend)IM

HP 2: On December 17, 2010, my boyfriend proposed to me at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, right in front of Hogwarts castle. Is he the one? Dern straight. I said yes. MLIM

HP fans have ACTUAL boyfriends that are not only punny (works like a charm heh heh) and sweet but don't have to kill us...sorry, suck all of our blood...to get us to marry them.

Exhibit D

Twilight: Today, me and my BFF Jessica went to see a movie. i looked for motorcycles guys to give me a ride so i could see Edward's face like Bella did. (: MLIT.

HP: My little brother was really nervous to be starting high school because he had a really hard time with bullying in primary school and didn't have any real friends, so i told him neither did Harry but he found them at Hogwarts. He isn't as nervous anymore. OLAM.

Twilight teaches, "Miss your bf? Put yourself in a dangerous situation you'll see him!" HP teaches us valuable life lessons that can be used to help younger generations with self esteem issues. HP= Practicality, not danger. Well, unless you count Granger Danger but that's another story entirely.

Exhibit E

Twilight: Today as I'm driving down the highway i do what i usually do and look at other cars. As i do this I'm thinking of how amazing it will be to see Eclipse. The first car i see is a deep blue car brand: ECLIPSE....ironic. MLIT

HP: Today in Health class, we were writing and drawing about ourselves. One of the things we had to have was a slogan. Mine? "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light." MLIM.

HP: I skipped sleep last night so I was barely making it through class today. In my last class I set my head down and tried to fight off the sleep and thought "It would be so awesome if the electricity would go out so class would be cancelled." Right as I finished that thought I heard gasps and when I lifted my head everything was dark.I always knew I was a witch. MLIM

Instead of misusing "ironic" we quote Dumbledore, and the quotes make sense and are inspiring too...WHAT? I know I just blew your mind.

Exhibit F

Twilight: today, i bought a volvo with my college money, my parents dont know yet...MLIT

HP: I was super excited when I was admitted to Transylvania University, a rather selective private university that is over over 250 years old. And then I found out about the 7 year curse. And the two tombs in the administration building. And ANTH2604: Magic, Witchcraft & Religion. And then the quidditch team, which went to the Quidditch World Cup. In October we had a Sorting Hat Ceremony and in December a Yule Ball. Completely true story. You can google it. MLIM

Instead of wasting our COLLEGE money on cars that look like a fictional character's car, we go to college. Yes we invest our money in HP paraphernalia but we don't waste it behind our parent's backs for the most part.

Exhibit G

HP: I noticed that Voldemort calls Bellatrix "Bella." Nice choice to name the villain, Rowling. MLIM

"It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live." Albus Dumbledore

"The idea for Twilight came to me in a dream." Stephanie Meyer

'Nuff said.

The Reasons I Love My Friends Part 1

The other day, I was talking with an acquaintance in class about our friends. I came to realize I had a lot of "friends". However, I also realized that my Best Friends were the ones you read about in Chicken Soup books. Here are 3 of my most recent stories on them (put in a series) - note: all of them are different friends and names have been taken out to preserve their humbleness. Plus, I didn't ask permission to mention them on the blog :).

If it looks like a thug, tries to talk like a thug, it's probably a nerd

Tonight, I had class. It was a night class from 7-9:40, at CVCC in a dark scary parking lot. The majority of people in my class honestly scare me a bit. They've never done anything to me, but their demeanor scares me. Long story short: They're thugs. Straight up, chains etc. thugs.

I am not.

Big surprise I know, so tonight when I went to class I decided to look more thug-ish. So I went to my J.Crew and Old Navy infested closet to look for thug clothes. I came out with: Dark jeans, black shirt, chain-like necklace (don't judge it was last season), and leather jacket. I was thug.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked by a chain link fence, sketchy at best. I then walked in with some of my classmates, I was on time so they weren't sketchy...that sketchy.

When I sat down I texted my dear friend (referred to as Friend #1 from henceforth) Here's the convo:

Me: Can I avert thugs by wearing a leather jacket and chain like jewelry?

Friend #1: Haha no they're still gonna mess with you

Me: Dang homie

Friend #1: Haha why are you trying to avoid thugs?

Me: My night class, I don't get out till like 10

Friend #1: Can you find someone to walk out with?

Me: Only if I sell my kidney... or liver

Then class started so I stopped texting to pay attention. When we reached break, before I checked my phone a thugish guy beside me saw my notes. He said "Hey girl, can I ask you a question?" I being my usual self said "Yeah ok" thinking it'd be inappropriate at best. He then responded, "How'd you get your notes to print out all neat like that? I mean you look like you know computers but is it easy?"

So much for me being thug. I then explain the process via MAC and PC. I'm a nerd.

When I checked my phone, I found this text:

Friend #1: You're parked under a light, you'll be fine.

Moral of the story?

A friend will tell you "you'll be fine" when you tell them you're parked in a sketchy parking lot. Best Friends will stalk out your car to tell you your fine, you're parked under a light.

Light-Emitting Diode Loveliness Nerdocities

While exploring one of my favorite websites (thinkgeek.com) I found about a hundred kabillion things I want. The following series is the list(s) and explanations of these items.

LED Shower

This is SO COOL for numerous reasons.

A) It makes the water change color!

B) Great for when the power goes out and your in the shower. Trust me on this one - there is nothing scarier than being in the shower when the lights go out. Plus, if it was the doing of an intruder how freaked out would they be to see the water is glowing?

C) The color changes as the temperature does - Blue for cold and Red for warm!

LED Faucet

Same as the shower LED lights, we all know how I love to match!

LED Umbrella

By sun, a normal umbrella. By rain, a shimmering rain protecting implement that has glowing raindrops AND the bottom lights up too so you can see where you're going (which is important for me, as I have a small tendency to trip on things I only think are there).

LED Heart

At this point I feel I have a confession to make, I have a thing for nerds. I don't mean the "oh, he likes math" kind of nerd - not at all. I mean the "I carry a calculator and pocket protector everywhere I go and can recite Pi to the 57th decimal" kind of geek. As a side note, I can recite Pi to the 15th decimal.

When you buy this heart, you must assemble it. That's the whole point! To put it together for your boyfriend/girlfriend/prom date/cute guy you have a crush on. In fact the website states:

"We won't lie...You'll need some basic soldering skills and it took one of our robotic monkeys about an hour to assemble one of these flashing beauties."

If a guy gave this to me I'd date him in a heartbeat.

Stay Tuned for the next in my series of Nerdocities!

Getting a few things straight

Let's talk about my last post/facebook status (basically the same thing). Some people took this WAY too seriously, I do NOT hate Liberty. In fact, up until a week ago I was a student there. It's my understanding Liberty uses a 3rd party site filter and my blog somehow entered "adult content" it could have been something as simple as some words put together make some other words that would set the filter off (example: Mars Explorer). Liberty did not randomly find my blog and block it.

Now, I will definitely take most of the blame because I said "Liberty blocked my blog" what I should have said was "Liberty's filter blocked my blog". For that I really do apologize.

Now, let's talk about the LU haters. A few people said LU was infringing on my freedom of speech. They aren't making me stop writing my blog, so how exactly are they infringing?

Some others said they were censoring me, in the First Amendment nothing is said about censorship. See for yourself:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or

of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition

the Government for a redress of grievances."

-retrieved via www.usconstitution.net

If that was the case - wouldn't bleeping out cuss words be unconstitutional?

I'm also disappointed that people were so hateful when it comes to Liberty.

Liberty has every right to conduct their college the way they want to - Freedom of Religion. That IS mentioned in the First Amendment.

Here's my deal: I love Liberty, I think it is a great college. Problem free? Absolutely not, but name a college that is. If you don't like Liberty here's an idea: Don't go there.

I think it's funny, I've attended colleges other than LU. At other colleges I heard a LOT of Liberty bashing, but never once at LU did I hear bashing about another college.

In my opinion, the ONLY people allowed to complain about Liberty's rules are the ones forced to go there. Maybe because of budgetary restrictions, parents, or grades. Other than that, if you don't go there what in the world has Liberty done to you? Teasing about the rules is a whole different thing - I'm talking about honestly complaining and wanting to go to the press, dean, whatever with the rules.

Yes, I realize that TRBC and all ministries involved have a huge influence on Lynchburg. I don't see this as a bad thing - if you WANT a town with strip clubs, Hooters, what have you then move. What is wrong with keeping those things out?

I'm sorry if this came off a little harsh but really people can we act like adults? I'm friends with kids I work with at church on facebook I've had to delete multiple comments because of inappropriate language. I don't like reading it, and it doesn't help you sound more intelligent. In fact it does the opposite since you can't effectively get your point across without words that really make no sense when you analyze the sentence.

I posted the fact my blog was blocked because I thought it was funny! You can ask people -when they asked me about it in person I laughed! There is nothing bad on this blog, I even post things about my walk with Christ, hence the reason I found the fact it was blocked funny.

If this causes you to stop reading my blog, I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is my blog and I choose what to put on here.

Other than that, have a great day.

-Tiff